SCI-FI

 

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funny stuff. . .no, really. . .funny stuff!!!

 

Page 1

 

‘ What the hell?!…’ The explosion hit before Captain Pallas Tio could further his assessment.  Red lights flashed on various consoles.  Tio banked hard right as another energy bolt skimmed past his ship.  He glanced over at his navigator Bella, who graced him with one of her “it could only happen to you” looks.

– ‘ What? What! ‘ he remonstrated ­ ‘ How was I supposed to know?! U.M.C doesn’t exactly broadcast details of the local interplanetary battle raging in our universe…’ No response. ­ ‘ So quit criticising and do something about those…’ he indicated the flashing lights which by now had changed from red to every color in the white-light spectrum.  Bella worked effortlessly and efficiently, her mind processing in nanoseconds the delicate compensatory calculations needed to bring each system back online.  Tio concentrated on his flying, skirting debris and laserbolts flowing relentlessly in his direction.  By the size of the debris, he guessed that some starship had exploded nearabouts…..

– ‘ What’s going on? ‘ one of his passengers entered the pilots cabin.

– ‘ Nothing to worry about…’ Pallas mumbled ­ ‘ We sorta interrupted someone else’s party….’

– ‘ You jumped us into a starfight!? ‘ Tio noted An’Tioch, an elegantly dressed, well-manicured, impossibly handsome young man. 
Tio scowled. –
‘ Sure, why not? I just love life or death situations. ‘ On cue, another laserbolt shook the ship.  He had to get out of this crossfire.

– ‘ Don’t you have any shields? ‘ An’Tioch’s anxiety turned into annoyance.

– ‘ C.I.Cs don’t carry military shielding.  Only enough to get through hyperspace transfer. ‘ Tio expected more argument.  But An’Tioch was staring intensely at the viewport. 
He whispered, – ‘It…can’t be…Those look like….’

– ‘ Hey, y’know those guys? ‘ Tio’s suspicions were raised.  But An’Tioch had already left.

 

 

Bella spoke instead ­ ‘ Guidance and com systems realigned Captain.  Supralight speed’s ready…’ she paused ­ ' Although if you’d listened to me on Mycalie and overhauled the antiquated innards of this so-called cruiser, we would have had the necessary back-ups to deal with these… complications ‘ she looked disdainfully at the receding battle.

– ‘ If you hadn’t noticed Bella my beauty, we haven’t exactly been overrun with charters lately, and by my calculation….’ He closed his eyes and did some mental arithmetic ­ ‘ our technical overhaul would’ve consisted of 10 byraminium screws and 5 sensodite plates….’ He smiled wickedly at her ­ ‘ I could always sell you…’
Bella was unfazed, – ‘ If you sold me, you could buy a brand new D.X starliner..’ she continued smoothly ­ ‘ Of course, you’d never be able to fly it without me..’
Tio hated smart-alec cyborgs and the B.E600 series were notorious for it.  The designers has developed emotive cognisance over physical parameters; it was cheaper to manufacture.  Besides, research had shown that earlier models which duplicated human appearances exactly, did not go down well with their real-life human colleagues.  Ironically, real people found them disturbing and were less likely to trust their decisions.  This was a problem, considering major commercial and industrial transports depended upon cyborg technology to help run them.  The solution had been simple: The perversity of human nature made it easier for people to accept the “humanity” of sophisticated A.I.s when these appeared like walking tin cans rather than walking humans.

Bella had been assigned to Pallas on his first flight with Centrum, the largest spacecruise operator covering the Meridian Quarter.  A great career…until the accident.  He had resigned immediately.  It hadn’t been his fault but everyone blamed him nonetheless; 5 years on, he couldn’t honestly remember whether it had been his fault or not.  Guilt and confusion had given way to apathy.  More surprisingly, Bella had opted for voluntary release.  The laws were quite specific: the B.E600s were technically sentient and as such weren’t “property” or “slaves” hence Centrum had no choice but to let its million credit hardware go.  When Tio had asked her why, she had replied ­ ‘ Every disaster needs a solution.’ He hadn’t been amused but he had been grateful.  As he looked at her calm and poised, her triatatium casing somehow didn’t look rigid.  She had really become human to him, every word and sentence carried expression.  He could read every silent look on her motionless face, and it really, really irritated him…..

– ‘ Isn’t there anymore repairs?’

– ‘ Are you ready for your frontal lobotomy?’

Captain Pallas Tio sighed audibly, muttering ­ ‘ One of these days I’m gonna dismantle you….’ He got up ­ ‘ Take over.  I’ll check on our jittery friends..’

 

 

They had approached him yesterday.  A man, woman and 2 aliens.  The humans were tall, lithe and incredibly beautiful, dark hair with flawless olive skin and unwavering obsidian eyes.  They resembled siblings ­ or at least Tio sincerely hoped so.  They introduced themselves as An’Tioch and Sel’Incha and their companions as Iskan and Iskai.  The aliens looked like their official pets, some kind of feline species reaching Tio’s knees in height.  They carried their huge tails like a ruff around their necks and each wore a jewelled belt from which hung irregular devices that Tio couldn’t decipher. They wanted a charter to Negus Prime, the luxury liner “Ventura” due to depart that day being fully booked.  This seemed odd to Tio since he knew the “Ventura” was rarely full and its route didn’t include Negus Prime.  But Tio had shrugged ­ ‘ There’s always a first time’ especially since An’Tioch paid upfront double his usual fees.

 

 

He stopped outside the door leading to the ship’s communal area.  He was about to enter when he heard voices….

– ‘ It had to be an ambush your Highness…’

– ‘ But how?…Traitors in Tendaka’s fleet?….’

– ‘ Perhaps…His arrival in Negus Prime was obviously anticipated…’

Another voice broke in urgently ­ ‘ We must abort…’

– ‘I agree…However valiant and loyal Tendaka is, from what I saw…he was greatly outnumbered..’

– ‘ Then it won’t be long before we’re discovered…’

– ‘ What about Tio?’

At this juncture Captain Tio burst in ­ ‘ What about me? And WHAT is going on?’ Unsurprisingly explanations were scarce and continued to be so, when Bella broke the tense silence over the intercom with ­ ‘ Captain…it appears we’re being pursued…’

 


Page 2 by Ricky Fletcher

 

The group stared at Captain Pallas Tio. He couldn't decide whether the shock evident on their faces was due to his unexpected intrusion on their private tête-à-tête or the news of the unknown ship pursuing them. The intercom blipped again.
It was Bella. – ' What course of action shall I take Captain?'
Tio sighed, for an extremely sophisticated A.I. Bella could be really stupid. He screamed unreasonably at the blameless intercom – ' Run! You empty-headed tincan!' and proceeded to the flight cabin to reiterate this point.
An'Tioch looked at his companions – ' If we get caught....'

Iskan spoke decisively – ' We cannot... we must not....'

Iskai continued – ' Our fate has always been known.... The timing is irrelevant. Others will follow, same role, same fate....' Iskan nodded agreement. Their soft fur pelts almost flat with their quiet resignation.

Sel'Incha broke the morbidity – ' Timing is everything. ' She looked directly at Iskai, her gaze steady until something like hope flickered awake in Iskai's eyes.

– ' We shall continue our roles until the end.... Healer...' Sel'Incha inclined her head.
The two aliens smiled sadly and returned the bow, replying – ' As you wish.... your Highness... '


In the flight cabin, the situation was slightly less than agreeable. – ' We gotta get more speed!' Pallas shouted as he fought to keep control of his ship. He could almost hear her screeching with the exertion and he could certainly feel the shuddering and the shaking of her hull. Pallas began seriously to contemplate that the ship might live up to her name: The Starburst could burst like a star at any moment.
– ' She's at maximum Captain..... She'll collapse if we push any further....' Bella informed, her voice saturated with perspiration if not her actual face. Pallas looked haggard, his dark hair was damp with sweat and his hazel eyes had lost all color as he concentrated on accelerating through the black void with orange energy beams streaking past.

– ' Well, what now?' Bella enquired matter-of-factly.

– ' Can't you ask an easier question?' Pallas snapped. His mind was racing, much like his ship. What to do? What could he do?

Braclo Jain watched impassively the small ship furiously fleeing before him. He was a tall man, in his early forties with a clean-shaven handsome face. He was smartly dressed in a steel-grey suit cut in a militaristic style which perfectly coordinated with the steel-grey of his eyes. The Shrii was only slightly bigger than the Starburst but being a successful pirateship, she was better equipped and armed than most ships.

– ' I'm tired of just scaring them. Can't we waste them Boss?' The suggestion came from the weapons operator Dox, a Guinied: A feral looking humanoid with a disproportionate small head and a face so pinched and wrinkled, it was difficult to tell where exactly his eyes, nose and mouth were positioned. His brother Lox was more wrinkly and more impatient – ' Yeah Boss. Let's waste them now!'

– ' That is precisely why you are not in charge.' Jain eyed his only other crew member, Hakkris, a Solistrian female. She remained cool and aloof as ever.

– ' It's not fair! Everybody's having a fireball fling and we're stuck chasing this piece of junk!' Lox complained. Hakkris raised a questioning eyebrow at Jain.
He sighed expansively. He hated having to explain things to underlings. – ' Didn't it seem strange to you that so many of our esteemed colleagues were hired by the Bepprin High command to attack their own Royal fleet?'

– ' Coups are commonplace on those kind of planets. It's not unusual for one fraction to enlist the aid of mercenaries...' Hakkris surmised.

– ' That is true ' Jain reflected – ' But still. Our Bepprin contingent outnumbered the Royal fleet nearly 2:1. Without the mercenaries.'

– ' Maybe they didn't know how many were coming Boss?'

– ' Maybe. However, if they knew accurately the time and place....' he paused significantly.His eyes still focused on the cruiser ahead – ' No, to me our presence felt more like a cover...'

– ' So what's it matter, we got paid to be there didn't we?' Dox fidgeted.

Jain agreed – ' Very well paid.'

Lox and Dox looked at each other or at least faced each other. – ' Shouldn't we be earning our money?' Lox asked alittle indignantly.

Jain laughed derisively – ' You've never earned anything in your life. Why start now?' He turned to face the dermatologically challenged duo – ' I know you two just love any opportunity to display your natural combative talents but really that melee back there was such a free-for-all, I doubt if any of your skills would've been required.' He watched the viewscreen again – ' Besides I've just had this ship newly polished and I would've been very annoyed if we picked up any accidental scorching or denting!'

– ' Explains why we were stuck on the outskirts!' Lox sniggered.

Jain continued his musings – ' The ambushed party was small enough probably to be an escort of some kind...'

Hakkris at last took some interest – ' For royalty?'

– ' Royalty.... politicians.... leaders... who knows.... It doesn't have to be a person.... '

– ' Treasure! That's gotta be it Boss! ' Lox enthused --' Whenever those kingly types get into trouble, they always try and hide their loot first! ' Lox's excitement was tempered by – ' Wait a minute... you think that... THAT...' he pointed accusingly at the Starburst – ' got treasure in it?!'

Jain spoke slowly as if that would help – ' In all probability whatever they were escorting was on one of those Bepprin carriers. Nevertheless, it was a peculiar coincidence this cruiser should suddenly appear near the scene, minutes after our expected targets...'

Lox was confused – ' So it's not got any treasure?'

Dox concluded – ' Let's blast them!'

– ' Coincidences do happen...' Hakkris added. Both ignored the brothers.

– ' Best to eliminate such random possibilities don't you think?'

Hakkris smiled icily – ' We'll soon find out.' She stared at the viewscreen. Jain followed her gaze. The Starburst had come to a complete halt.

– ' Engine failure. It's gotta be.' Lox laughed – ' When you fly junk that's what happens!'

– ' Open a com channel ' Jain smiled sweetly – ' The least we can do is introduce ourselves before we destroy their pitiful existence....'


Page 3 by Chris G Webster

The atmosphere inside the the pilot's cabin was tense.
– ' Why have we stopped Captain? ' An'Tioch asked in alarm.
– ' Cause we'd rip our hull apart if we don't! ' Tio was blunt.
An'Tioch wasn't impressed by this reasoning. He continued – ' Are we just going to let ourselves be captured? '
Pallas didn't answer. The other ship was very close now. A fast sleek unmarked ship with military capabilities could only mean one thing : Pirates, and successful ones at that. – ' If we're lucky ....' Tio finally replied. Pirates never usually let their quarries leave intact. Pallas knew he might have one chance but he had to act quickly. He barked an order to Bella.
– ' Is that wise? ' she queried.
– ' Just do it! ' Tio wasn't in the mood for discussion.
– ' Capture is not an option ... ' Tio turned around and saw that Sel'Incha had joined them. She carried a wide beam particle disrupter and a senso blaster hung low on her belt. An'Tioch moved his cloak aside to reveal that he too was similarly armed. They were calm but their eyes gleamed like those prepared to die in battle. Great! thought Tio, Death by cold-blooded criminality or death by hot-blooded stupidity.
The intercom blinked – ' This is the Shrii. Prepare to be boarded. '
– ' By whose authority? ' Tio glanced at Bella who was still hunched over a control panel.
– ' Why ... by my authority ... Bracklo Jain Associates .... Space entrepreneurs ... at your service... ' Tio heard laughter in the background.
– ' Ahh... Captain Jain ... This is a small commercial cruiser ... with... ahh..' Tio stalled for time -- ' with only a small passenger charter .... We have nothing of value on board ...'
There was a sudden jolt as the tractor beam grabbed the Starburst.
– ' Your information is most welcome Captain ... captain ..?'
– ' Tio. Pallas Tio. '
– ' ...Captain Tio... But you must realize that in my profession, it's always best to check minor details... personally...' there was a slight pause – ' Rest assured, you and your crew will not be harmed ...' Again the muffled sound of laughter could be heard. This did not look good.
The two ships were meters away from connection. Pallas looked at Bella. She nodded. Tio threw a switch. A pulse of yellowish energy shot out along the path of the tractor beam, which immediately began to flicker, frazzle and breakup. Both ships shook violently. Suddenly an explosive discharge propelled the two ships outwards like two badly kicked footballs. The Starburst spun away to the right. Inside, anything not bolted down, clashed and clanged against walls, ceilings and floors. Pallas, grimly holding onto his seat, struggled over to press the startup sequence. Coughing thrusters finally ignited and engines returned a familiar hum. Tio rammed the throttle forward to increase the distance between him and the already receding Shrii.
The Shrii had spun away to the left. Inside there was chaos. Red lights blared and flared. Lox and Dox stumbled and tumbled towards control panels emanating smoke. Jain and Hakkris busied themselves as they desperately tried to shut down systems one by one before they all short-circuited. – ' Well, this was unexpected ...' Hakkris remarked. She adjusted inertial dampeners and increased the artificial gravity ratio until the ship eventually stopped spinning.
Jain's fine suit was dishevelled along with his fine poise – ' The demented Fool!! He could've killed us all!! ' Jain smoothed his uniform and screamed at the tangled heap that was the Guinied – ' Get up!! You worthless, stuporous, sacks of soggy flesh!! I want this ship repaired. Now!!! ' He whirled and snarled at Hakkris – ' Report!! ' Jain was not a happy pirate. Hakkris smiled, enjoying the moment; it wasn't often Bracklo Jain was bested....

– ' How... how ... wha.. what happened? ' Sel'Incha asked Pallas in bewilderment. The Shrii had disappeared from view. Pallas and Bella continued monitoring and calibrating instruments. – ' I got Bella to reroute all the shield parameters til they aligned to one point.... ' He turned and faced his passengers.
– ' So? ' An'Tioch was still confused.
– ' So-o ... when they hit their tractor, we could send a concentrated burst of energy along a pre-directional path ... straight into their magnetic field capacitors and overload their systems...' Instead of the expected congratulations, there was shocked silence.
An'Tioch finally muttered – ' But... but your overload could have knocked us and our systems into oblivion .... '
– ' It was a calculated risk. ' Tio got annoyed – ' Besides I'd shut down all our primaries 'cept for life-support ...'
– ' How considerate ...' Sel'Incha mumbled.
Tio ignored the comment and smiled knowingly – ' Pirates never shut down anything ... just in case y'know .... ' he continued smugly – ' Their activated systems would've absorbed most of the blast energy.... Any damage we got, they got a hundred times worse .... '
– ' But Captain, ' Sel'Incha tried to remain calm – ' You overlooked one thing: You could have destroyed us. Completely! '
– ' And in so many ways too ... ' Bella elaborated, – ' the explosion could've blown us into pieces... the Shrii could've collided into us and blown us into pieces ... bits of the Shrii could've collided into us and blown .... '
– ' Yeah, yeah we get the picture, Bella ' Pallas snapped. He glared at Sel'Incha and An'Tioch – ' I think what you're trying to say is " Thank you and of course we'll pay the necessary extras to repair your ship." ...'
But before they could express such thanks, more warning signals flashed.
Bella informed – ' That's it Captain. We've lost light speed, navigation, sensors and communications .... I suggest we land soon before we loose engines... '
An'Tioch scowled and Sel'Incha raised a scornful eyebrow – ' What a surprise! ....'
Pallas disregarded both of them – ' Did you find anything suitable ? '
Bella consulted some charts – ' Ye-ss ... before the sensors failed, I picked up habitation readings on a planet not faraway ... sublight speed should get us there .... if we hurry ... '
– ' So not only are you trying to kill us but you're also going to abandon us on some primeval backwater planet .... ' Sel'Incha surmised – ' This is unacceptable Captain. '
Tio sighed. How could anybody so beautiful be so utterly devoid of any charm. – ' Lady, abandoning you anywhere would be a result .... but unfortunately me and my ship are stuck with you ...'

Page 4 by Jim Levitch

Re'Kaisah watched calmly the holographic battle monitor's shifting laser display. He ignored the orange and green blips of the pirateships and concentrated on the red blips of his High Command as they crawled and engulfed the scattering blue blips of the Royal Fleet. Everytime a blue blip vanished, Re'Kaisah felt an inward glow as bright as the real explosion it signified. Very soon, all the blue blips had disappeared.
He paced impatiently for the reports to come in – ' Well? ' he barked at the young officer who hurriedly handed him the compslate. Re'Kaisah scanned the computerised list but the names he was hoping to find, did not appear. He scowled, ready to vent his rage, but uttered menacingly instead
– ' Bring me Tendaka! ' A middle-aged man weary and bruised with a once smart red and gold uniform was dragged in – ' Where are they? ' Re'Kaisah dispensed with post-battle etiquette.
– ' I ... I ... don't know wha .... '
He didn't finish, as Re'Kaisah's rage erupted and he backslashed Tendaka across his face with a jewel-studded gloved hand. Tendaka's lip tore open and blood freely flowed. – ' Where are the Royal Rats? '
Tendaka breathed heavily and replied deliberately – ' I'd rather die first ...'
Re'Kaisah smiled – ' An easy request ... ' He grabbed the laser pistol from the guard and fired without hesitation into Tendaka's forehead. Tendaka collapsed to the floor without a sound, his head a molten mass of flesh, bone and brainmatter. Re'Kaisah immediately felt better. He sniffed disdainfully – ' Dispose of that traitor ... ' As the guards removed the body, Re'Kaisah sighed irritably. He noticed blood specks on his glove and smiled again. At least today, had seen another batch of royal pests exterminated.
It had been a frustrating few months for the First Minister. All his careful planning should have culminated with the death of his Royal quarry but the impatience of his colleagues had allowed them to escape. To find them had become an obsession. Alive, the Royal Regents represented a threat to his new powerbase. Re'Kaisah knew that they would be trying to get to Diluth to enlist the aid of those wretched interlopers in order to launch their counter offensive. His spies had infiltrated the Royal Fleet, the hidden hub of monarchist sympathies, and had informed him that part of the Fleet were to escort their Highnesses on their way to Negas Prime. Re'Kaisah had been surprised by the destination but then reasoned, it was irrelevant where he captured his Royal fugitives, as long as they ended up in a place of his choosing, namely the graveyard.
Re'Kaisah fumed silently and belligerently. His trap had been perfect: More monarchists weeded out and substantial Fleet ships destroyed, all with the benefit of a pirate smokescreen. But still his quarry had managed to elude him. Re'Kaisah optimistically hoped that they had died on one of those destroyed ships but the evidence of the central computer logs and his own instinct, told him otherwise. He focused his mind and retraced the battle. The colored blips moved in a rhythmic dance; suddenly he noticed two pirateships moving away from the battlefield. He opened his eyes. That had been odd. At the time, his subconscious had assumed that it was some private skirmish between the two, but now, all possibilities had to be checked ....

The Starburst had landed without any further incident.
– ' Where are we ?' An'Tioch asked resignedly.

Bella remarked – ' On Signar ... or Sigmos ... I think ' adding semi-cheerfully – ' We are in the Negas System though ...'
– '
What good is that if Negas Prime is ..... ' Sel'Incha waved her arm skywards – ' ... over there and we're stuck over here with no ship ....'
– ' We have a ship.... ' Tio had reemerged from the hold carrying utility packs – ' We just gotta get it fixed, that's all .... '
– ' Well, if you hadn't performed that suicidal maneuver, we wouldn't need to get it fixed! ' Sel'Incha snapped.
Tio glared at her, his anger barely concealed – ' Your alternative would've left us nothing to fix ...' he continued – ' Besides, you ... ' he indicated An'Tioch – ' ... you recognized those ships in that firefight.... So before we go any further, I wanna know exactly what's going on .... '
An'Tioch spoke crisply – ' Captain, our business is our own. We've paid generously for this charter, which I might remind you, is still very much incomplete... '
Pallas Tio thought about this for a moment, then he unholstered his blaster – ' Fair enough ' he spoke nonchalantly – ' If you're not prepared to tell me, then I'm going to have to lock you in the hold while I get help .... cause whoever's chasing you up there, is going to be down here looking for you .... and I hate being chased by folks I don't know... ' He motioned for Bella to take their weapons. She apologized – ' I'm sorry about all this ... his bad moods can be difficult .... '
An'Tioch was perturbed – ' This isn't necessary .... '
Sel'Incha lost her sneering edge – ' Yes, Captain ... you must listen ... it's ...it's safer for you if you didn't know the details ...'
Tio smiled sarcastically – ' I'm touched by your concern ... But considering all the trouble I've had so far by not knowing the details ....'
– ' Captain Tio is right .... ' Iskai gazed steadily at An'Tioch – ' His courage is considerable... I think we should trust him ....'
Iskan continued – ' Captain Tio ... we are fugitives ... '
– ' Do tell. '
Iskan ignored the remark – ' Six standard months ago the Royal House of Bepprin was deposed by an uprising led by the First Minister Re'Kaisah. Many in the Royal Court were executed immediately ... we would've been too, had it not been for the actions of loyal friends who sacrificed their lives for our safety ... '
Pallas had the uncomfortable feeling that the forthcoming revelation wasn't going to be to his liking.
– ' And you are ? '
– ' My companion and I are Diluthian Healers. We have served the monarchy for generations ...' Iskan and Iskai bowed slightly.

An'Tioch stepped forward – ' And I am An'Tioch Bel Rii, King of Bepprin ... ' he took Sel'Incha's hand – ' and this is my wife, Queen Sel'Incha Hei Ruu .... '
Pallas Tio sighed, – ' Great ' he muttered, – ' That's just great. As if a disabled ship and cutthroat pirates weren't enough, we gotta add homicidal dictators as well ......... '

Page 5 by JS Marks

Re'Kaisah had told the pirates that, everything except for prisoners, was theirs for the taking. Consequently they pounced on the disabled Royal Fleet, stripping, towing and tractoring the minutest scraps of salvage: jackals slavering over a dead carcass had better manners. They were also proving difficult to contact. Free plundering and looting demanded concentration especially when rivals were eyeing up the same prize. The Comm officer on board the the First Minister's battle cruiser Redeemer glanced nervously at Re'Kaisah. His face showed the irritation of a schoolteacher greatly displeased with unruly pupils.
Re'Kaisah barked at the Tactical officer ­ ' Target that leftover in the middle of the pack and destroy it! ' The officer complied. The Men'ai, one of the larger royal fleetships, exploded as the Redeemer's weapons found their mark. The small pirateships hovering around it, scattered like Egrettian mites hit by an electrical storm. Suddenly the bridge was awash with Egrettian mites squealing their annoyance and displeasure.
Re'Kaisah thundered above the racket – ' Gentlemen! I'm glad I've finally got your attention... ' The squealing became more voluble. –-' I suggest you listen or I'll be forced to eliminate you from this scavenger's feast permanently.... ' The milling voices quietened begrudgingly.
Re' Kaisah continued –- ' It seems two of your colleagues have decided to leave our gathering early.... I'd like to find out who... '
A roll-call of the hired hands followed. Re'Kaisah wasn't surprised when he finally learned which of the pirates was missing. Bracklo Jain. He remembered Jain from the recruitment meeting. He'd stood out immediately as the only brigand who didn't reek of foul body odour. He remembered the groomed appearance, the smart pseudo grey uniform and the cold demeanor of a man who lusted after something other than just mere money... Re'Kaisah had loathed him on sight. The other ship wasn't logged as a pirate and this did surprise the First Minister. The thought of an innocent passerby stumbling upon his grand scheme jarred his powerful instincts. Re'Kaisah's paranoia took over and soon he could only come to one conclusion: Bracklo Jain had betrayed him. Somehow Jain had made contact with the royal fugitives and together they had fled the trap. Re'Kaisah cursed him, his ship, his surroundings and his subordinates. He dismissed the pirate rabble and called in his Bepprin commanders. Enough time had been wasted. The battle data had been analyzed and the last known trajectory of the two retreating ships calculated. The Bepprin forces took their positions at the edge of the quadrant. Re'Kaisah wanted to be thorough. On his order, his fleet began a slow sensor sweep, atom by atom, of the region of space the rogue ships had disappeared into... Re'Kaisah focussed all his rage on the fugitives, adding one more name to the list.... Bracklo Jain.

Nature had liberally applied irony when it came to the Negas System. In terms of its size and quotient of planets with breathable atmospheres, it ranked highly in the Fermet Index but the proportion actually inhabited meant its rank in the CARPED Index was virtually nonexistent. The indexers had dutifully noted down all the factors so that capitalists seeking to invest on new worlds could check the Commercial And Residential Planetary Enterprise Developments register to gauge viability. The Negas System was located on the farthest reaches of a spiral galaxy located on the farthest reaches of the universe... The planets themselves had limited mineral value or had such hostile environments, that they were unprofitable to develop for either the manufacturing or leisure industries. Of the 60 or so planets in the system, only Negas Prime contained something substantial resembling a city, its existence assured by myrrebium extraction, a high quality luxury ore much prized amongst the Super-rich to decorate their palatial abodes. But even there, the lack of proximity to any visible commerce route, meant only the most determined and prosperous mining companies could afford the colossal distribution fees, to operate any kind of business. Elsewhere habitation was sporadic and sparse. Isolationist settlers set up self-sufficient communities that neither wanted nor welcomed tourists or trade. The Negas System offered the perfect refuge for those disaffected or cast out from Society and those who just needed a good place to hide....

Bracklo Jain stared without enthusiasm as the Shrii entered the Negas System. He had regained control and composure. The Shrii would've drifted aimlessly in space if Jain hadn't been such a consummate planner. His preparations ensured his ship always carried essential spare parts; however the damage had been so severe that only a spell in dry dock could return her now to her former sleek glory. Jain's hot anger had cooled into calculating resentment. He knew Tio had to be in this system somewhere... The Starburst's hyperdrive would've fried, much like the Shrii's. In the distance 3 planets appeared.
Hakkris checking starcharts reported –- ' Looks like Sigmos, Signar and Thymos...'
–- ' Scan them, ' Jain ordered. There was silence.
Dox grumbled –- ' With what? Our eyes? ' Lox sniggered. Jain raised a threatening eyebrow. The sensors were one of those delicate instruments needing dry dock attention.
Dox grumbled further –- ' We shoulda blasted 'em like I said...'
Jain sighed –- ' You're right...' Dox and Lox looked shocked or at least tried to.
Jain continued –- ' So... I'm going to rely on you for the next command decision ....' He walked towards Dox. –-' I want you to pick which planet we search...'
Dox got apprehensive –- ' ah... um... ah...'
Suddenly a blaster muzzle furrowed into Dox's forehead as Jain explained –- 'Of course, if they're not there.... I'm going to have to blow out your feeble brains...' Dox garbled incoherently.
Lox exclaimed –-' That ain't fair Boss! '
Jain whirled the blaster on him. –- ' Perhaps you'd care to make a choice too? '
Lox backed away –- ' ahh.. ya did ask Dox first...'
Dox threw his brother a disgusted glance. Sweat began to accumulate like lakes in his heavily folded face –- ' I...I .. I think we should try that one...' he pointed at the nearest planet. Bracklo Jain, his patience threadbare, smiled icily and started to clean his blaster...

Page 6 by Meeta Nawab

– ' That's gotta be the worst.... it's like a giant cheritoid having a bad hair-day.... '
Pallas Tio surveyed his ship miserably. The roughly rectangular mass of rusting metal stood on four short but sturdy cylindrical landing legs, the bases of which ended in large cushioned disks. Her top was now covered with clumps of dark purple moss.
Bella rationalised – ' An accurate description Captain except the particular arthropod in question would never grow thousand times its own bodyweight or grow hair.... Besides this environment isn't exactly overflowing with camouflage options. '
They were on a rocky plain. Bluish-grey boulders of every size were strewn haphazardously around swarthy carpets of moss.
Tio's depressing stare prompted Bella – ' From the air the Starburst blends in perfectly... '
Pallas wasn't convinced – ' Next time we crashland, make sure we do it near trees... lots of trees...'
Sel'Incha asked – ' Where are we going? '
Tio was grateful she left out any acidic remarks about the Starburst, his fragile temper wasn't in the mood for it. He replied – ' Bella noted a settlement away to the north... '
An'Tioch interrupted – ' Will we find what we need there? '
Pallas mumbled – ' What we need is a new ship... ' he sighed, his frustration rising – ' But considering the kinda luck I've been getting with Royalty lately, I doubt we'll find engine parts let alone a ship... More likely, we'll find savages barely used to stone tools and ready to fricassee anybody walking into their encampment....'
Iskan overhearing Tio, smiled – ' Then we shall pray for some technologically advanced savages... '
Pallas grunted – ' Maybe if you prayed harder earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess... '
An'Tioch stepped forward threateningly – ' I suggest respec... '
Iskan touched his arm gently – ' It's alright Your Highness... Captain Tio has every right to be angry.'
Sel'Incha barked – ' Perhaps. But it doesn't help matters if he blames us for everything... '
It was a fair comment, which only served to annoy Tio more – ' No.... it probably doesn't ... but it sure makes me feel a hellva lot better.... '
Before the situation could degrade further, Bella intervened – ' Captain everything's ready... '
He acquiesced – ' Okay let's get going... '

The sun had passed its zenith and thankfully the rocky terrain had gradually dwindled to reveal gentle rolling hills; their dark purple mossy mantles receding to pale blues in the distance. Tio was actually enjoying the long hike. It reminded him of his childhood camping trips. His father , a military instructor, ran the toughest survival courses. He'd send his recruits up the steepest mountains or into the deepest woods to make camp with nothing but a sharp knife. Unfortunately he insisted on a similar regime for his sons: Pallas had hated those camping trips, so much so that he'd vowed when he was old enough, he'd learn to fly so that he'd never have to walk anywhere ever again... The fresh air and delicate fragrance of the moss seductively soothed Pallas: if only his father could see him now... Pallas glanced back and saw Iskan being helped by An'Tioch and Iskai by Sel'Incha. The march had been difficult for them. Pallas acutely recalled his father striding forcefully ahead.
He caught up with Bella, saying – ' Slacken the pace.... We should rest soon... ' Bella watched the others struggling and understood. They reached the brow of a hill. The valley below opened out to woodlands beyond which wispy tendrils of smoke snaked slowly skywards.
Pallas quipped – ' We should've landed here... ' He pointed out the smoke when the others joined them – ' The settlement's over there. We'll camp near the woods tonight; it'll be safer for us to approach tomorrow... ' He expected objections but An'Tioch and Sel'Incha completely ignored him and began to guide the healers down the slope.
Bella remarked – ' Your charm must be working: they don't want to talk to you at all now... '
Pallas grumbled – ' It's an improvement... '

Later that evening a fire crackled as the food rations were reconstituted, a broth of unknown substances. Tio couldn't decide whether its lacklustre flavour was due to the dehydration process or the long exceeded expiary date. They ate in silence. The aliens appeared especially weak and Pallas fearing the food's quality, asked – ' Are you alright? '
– ' They're fine, ' Sel'Incha replied coldly.
Iskan rose – ' We're well... thank you Captain... the food was quite... delicious... But we're alittle tired... ' He helped Iskai up. They bowed to An'Tioch and entered their tent. Sel'Incha followed them. An'Tioch recovering some of his manners, added – ' Yes, thank you Captain for bringing us this far...'
He too retired, leaving Tio to contemplate his strange companions by the fire. Two uppity dethroned Royals and two healers who couldn't even see how ill they really were.... Deep in thought, he didn't notice Sel'Incha until she sat down beside him. – ' Captain... I'd like to apologise ... ' she began.
Pallas quizzed amusedly – ' Had the parental lecture? '
– ' What? '
Pallas nodded towards the healers' tent – ' They act more like guardians than physicians... '
– 'Well yes... they're very old ... and very wise... ' she gazed intently into the embers as if seeking some lost memory. Suddenly she laughed – ' Of course they've known me since I was a child...'
The laugh transformed her serious hardened features into something at once alive, emotional and vulnerable. With the flickering flamelight softly framing her, Tio thought he'd never seen anyone more beautiful. Sel'Incha felt his stare. She blushed – ' I mean.. I know we've had our differences... but you did save our lives and well... I... I... ' Pallas was enjoying her discomfort. Abruptly she held out her hand – ' Can we start again as friends? '
Pallas took her hand – ' Sure your Highness... ' He held onto her hand.
Sel'Incha blushed even more but kept her hand in his – ' Just Sel'Incha...'
Bella's unexpected arrival broke her reluctance as Sel'Incha hastily whispered – ' Goodnight ' before retreating to her tent.
Bella observed – ' Very cosy... '
Pallas snapped – ' Might've have got cosier if you hadn't shown up... '
– ' You did notice the husband? '
– ' I noticed... ' Tio answered quietly.
Bella continued – ' I'm certain seducing a Queen is a capital offence ... somewhere... ' When Pallas didn't reply, Bella confronted him, her voice mellowing – ' Don't get involved Captain ... she's ... she's not for you... ' Pallas stared at the silvery mask. Bella had never shown the slightest interest in any of his women before.
He said mischievously – ' Don't get jealous Sweetheart ... y'know you're the only woman in my life.'
Her response ricocheted – ' How fortunate for me I'm not real. ' She walked away
– ' Hey! ' Tio shouted – ' Where are you going? '
– ' Someone has to keep watch... ' she replied
– ' Now what did I do? ' Tio mumbled to himself. He'd heard the reproach in her voice. He shook his head. He'd never understand female sensibilities, even mechanised female sensibilities: Whenever he got friendly with one, he'd invariably upset another. He hoped Bella's sensibilities would improve by morning.

The dew awoke Pallas to the new dawn but the cold steel muzzle of a blaster made him definitely get up – ' Captain Pallas Tio I presume? ' the blaster spoke – ' Let me introduce myself... Captain Bracklo Jain, at your service... '

Page 7 by Jim Levitch

Pallas got up slowly. Jain indicated his blaster. Tio unbuckled his holster and carefully handed it over. He glimpsed Iskan and Iskai being held at gunpoint by a tall red-head. Sel'Incha and An'Tioch were nowhere in sight. Neither was Bella.
– ' Where are the resident imbeciles? ' Jain muttered irritably.
A rustling from the surrounding bushes revealed his answer. Bella emerged, hauling the Guinied by their necks. They struggled pathetically.
– ' What shall I do Captain? ' she looked at Tio for advice.
Jain noted Bella – ' A BE600? Most interesting. '
Pallas glared at Jain – Let us go or else she'll rip your friends' heads off ... '
Jain smiled easily – ' Be my guest .... She'll be doing me a favor ... '
This elicited an outraged – ' Boss!! '
– ' Of course she'll fry in seconds ' Hakkris's stance was cool and poised. One blaster trained on the Diluthians whilst another magically pointed at Bella. Jain continued – ' But not before you Captain ... ' He tightened his finger around the trigger.
– ' Wait!! ' Bella dropped the Guinied. They scrambled and retrieved their weapons.
– ' It's not our fault!! '
– ' Yeah ... she ... she snuck up on us!! '
– ' Shut up!! ' Jain yelled – ' Hakkris! Watch the android... ' They obeyed. He quietened and lowered his blaster – ' Good. Perhaps we can talk like civilized people... '
Tio smiled pleasantly – ' Sure. Let's be civilized. Let's talk about the weather ... '
Jain returned mirthlessly – ' Let's talk about my ruined ship .... '
Pallas remembered the sleek vessel and shrugged – ' Sorry ... '
– ' Sorry doesn't cover it ... ' Jain growled – ' I'm going to make you pay personally ... '
Pallas smirked – ' My credit rating's low ... you might be waiting a while ... '
Jain ignored him – ' I'm going to make an example out of you Captain Tio. A prolonged and painful example ... '
Tio sighed – ' Okay... okay, so I'm not your favorite person ... ' he glanced at his companions – ' Why don't you let them go? They're of no value to you. '
– ' On the contrary! ' Jain eyed Bella – ' She's of great value ... '
– ' Bella? ' Tio laughed saying conspiratorially – ' You're better off frying her. She hardly ever follows my orders, I doubt if she'll follow yours... '
Jain conspired back – ' I know a few unorthodox bio-techs who'd love to play with her circuits... By the time they've finished with her, she'll follow anybody's orders. She'll be worth a fortune. ' He scanned her appreciatively – ' Bella. Pretty name. Maybe I'll keep her. I've always wanted a BE600. ' Tio threw Bella a worried look.
Hakkris asked – ' What about the settlement? '
– ' Leave it ' Jain replied – ' I want to get off this rock as quickly as possible. '

Lox anxiously interrupted – ' Eh... ah... Boss?... I think we gotta problem ... ahh, we only got two skimmers ... ' The skimmers were roughly meter square platforms with upright steering columns. They ran on micro anti-grav transformers generating a localized air cushion. Found on space docks to transport small loads, Jain had used them to locate Tio. Jain considered a moment. The skimmers wouldn't carry them all; having little faith in the Guinied's guarding abilities, Jain had but one option.
– ' You and Dox take them. Bring back the ship. ' He motioned to the prisoners, – ' Tie them up. '
As Hakkris was securing Bella's restraints, Jain spoke softly – ' I know these binds are useless Bella, but beware, any misguided actions on your part will have immediate consequences for your Captain... ' he waved his blaster – ' ... fatal consequences... '
Tio and the others were herded towards the extinguished campfire. Hakkris took up guard. Jain sat, stretched his legs and lit up a merkweed cigarillo.
Tio snatched his chance. He whispered to Bella – ' Where are they? '
Bella whispered back – ' How should I know? '

Re'Kaisah spoke little and scowled alot. This was enough to deter any errant questions from his subordinates. Finally the Commander of the Redeemer approached him – ' The MCE signatures stop here Sir... at the Negas System... '
– ' Well? '
The officer continued reluctantly – ' There are over sixty planets Sir... '
Re'Kaisah exploded – ' Then stop wasting time and begin searching them at once!! '
The officer tentatively offered an alternative suggestion, one which he knew would be unpopular but as Commander, it was his duty to make – ' They could've gone into hyperdrive Sir... They could be anywhere... ' He waited for the howling threats and unreasonable recriminations.
However, Re'Kaisah was thoughtful – ' Send sensors to all uninhabited planets and small recon teams to the inhabited ones... Do this discretely Commander... I don't want to tread on any sovereign toes. '
– ' Yes Sir! '
Re'Kaisah added – ' Keep the fleet here and set the Redeemer on course for Negas Prime... I think it's time we paid a diplomatic visit... ' The officer saluted and turned to go.
– ' Oh Commander... ' Re'Kaisah halted him – ' If they're not in this system, guess who'll be resigning their commission... permanently. ' The knot in the Commander's stomach tightened further; he hadn't escaped the unreasonable recriminations afterall.

It was late afternoon. Jain barked impatiently – ' Any sign of them?! ' Hakkris shook her head. Jain stubbed out his cigarillo. It joined a mound by his feet. Jain turned to Tio for diversion – ' So why were you around these parts Captain? '
Tio replied resignedly – ' I told you... I was taking a charter to Negas Prime... '
Jain nodded – ' Ahh yes... ' He watched the Healers – ' They don't look too good... ' Iskan and Iskai were slumped against each other as if asleep – ' Why are they going there? '
Tio snapped – ' Health reasons! ' Jain smiled. Tio retorted – ' What were you doing here Captain? '
Jain dragged on another cigarillo. – ' Oh just minding my own business... '
– ' Why don't I believe you Jain? '
Jain countered sharply – ' That makes two of us... ' They stared at each other in silence. Then Jain laughed – ' I really have to congratulate you on your flying skills Captain. We came across your ... ship. It's remarkable you're alive at all... '
– ' She maybe old... '
Jain taunted – ' Old?! Fossilized pieces you mean... What happened? Did she clunk and collapse on landing or did her insides just explode with exertion?... '
Tio glanced confusedly at Bella – ' I thought you ... '
Bella cut him off – ' I did. '
Suddenly Hakkris exclaimed – ' They're here! '
Jain jumped up – ' About time! ' He noticed the dark speck looming larger and larger until the familiar shape of the Shrii could be recognized. But then something unexpected occurred. Instead of slowing down the Shrii kept up her speed and before anyone knew it, she had swooped past them.
Jain muttered in disbelief – ' What the? ... ' and then screamed at his fast disappearing ship – ' Lox! Dox! You're Dead!! Dead! Dead!! '

Page 8

Crouched behind a gnarled and hollowed tree-trunk, Sel'Incha and An'Tioch watched the proceedings.
– ' We've waited enough. Come on . . . ' Sel'Incha made a move.
An'Tioch stopped her, – ' The Healers forewarned us so we wouldn't get caught . . . '
– ' It's two against two. We should attack now. '
– ' Then what? ' demanded An'Tioch, – ' March back to the Starburst? ' They regarded the Healers hunched closely together.
Sel'Incha sighed, – ' They always look so vulnerable when they're regenerating. . . '
– ' That's because they are. ' An'Tioch grabbed Sel'Incha's shoulders, – ' Think Sel'Incha. We take them now and we'll be open prey for their ship to pick us off . . . Wait 'til the Shrii returns, at least we'll have transport then . . . '
– ' What if they're returning with reinforcements? '
– ' A ship that size couldn't poss– ' An'Tioch began as the very ship raced past them.
Sel'Incha puzzled, – ' What happened? '
– ' Whatever it is, I doubt if Jain planned it . . . '
They watched Jain dance in apoplectic rage. His tantrum distracted only when a group of armed men sprang from the woods. An'Tioch and Sel'Incha retreated further into the hollowed trunk.

An assortment of weaponry pointed at Jain. He commentated calmly, – ' What's this? A convention of antique arms dealers? ' The weapons including blasters, stunners and disrupters all looked fifty years out of date.
– ' They maybe old, Off-Worlder but they still work . . . ' a stubbly-faced man pronounced and to demonstrate, he fired his ZeroV-Def blaster. The shot knocked Jain's newer, shinier ZeroXVX-Def blaster out of his hand. Jain flinched. He sighed elaborately, Then he lost it, – ' What the hell is going on here?! '
Tio quipped, – ' I'd say that was obvious Jain . . . we're being ambushed . . . ' he added as an afterthought, – ' . . . again. ' The men tied up Jain and Hakkris. Tio noted with satisfaction, – ' Feels good don't it? '
The stubbly man who appeared to be in charge, ordered, – ' Let's go. Move. '
– ' Where we going? ' Jain asked sourly.
– ' We're going Home . . . '
– ' Sounds real neighborly . . . ' Jain mocked.
Tio questioned, – ' Is that the settlement near here? '
The stubbly man grunted, – ' It's the only settlement near anywhere. '
Jain began irritably, – ' Well as soon as we get there, I demand to– '
The stubbly man approached and without warning, punched his blaster barrel into Jain's solar plexus. – ' Shut up. I don't like you. '
Jain gasped, – ' You . . . don't . . . know . . . me . . . '
The blaster smashed into Jain's chin. The stubbly man smiled, – ' I don't want to know you. '
As the group trudged along in silence, Tio whispered to Jain, – ' And I thought I had a big mouth. '

Eventually the woodlands thinned to reveal a walled encampment. Inside was a settlement of small wooden cabins. The cabins were surrounded by patches of tilled earth, with incongruous bits of mechanical hardware seemingly attached to them. These ranged from hull shields doubling as makeshift doors to plastex canopies doubling as makeshift windows. However, the largest cannibalized components glared conspicuously. It adorned the largest building in the complex. The group headed towards it; the pentagonal structure of felled logs and compacted mud, had an impressive roof made of what decidedly looked like the huge solar aerofoils from an old-styled luxury spaceliner. The aerofoil tips were forcibly curved upwards to stop them digging into the ground. A crowd gathered. A grandfatherly figure wearing a smart but faded uniform came out and greeted them. – ' I am Elder Bergsta Soude. Welcome to Home. Our home. Your home– '
Jain interrupted authoritatively, – ' I am Provost Marshal Jain of the Outreach Territories, ' he pointed to Hakkris, – ' My deputy and I had engine trouble, on our way to deliver these criminals– '
Tio broke free to shout, – ' That's a lie! ' Guards restrained him, – ' He's lying. We're the victims here! '
Jain answered smoothly, – ' Don't believe him Elder I can prove who I am . . . ' Jain awkwardly extracted identification from his front pocket.
Tio baulked, – ' He's a pirate . . . He's got multiple forged I.D.s! '
Bergsta Soude raised his arms for quiet, – ' Please gentleman, please . . . ' he returned Jain's I.D,
– ' Your past is irrelevant . . . '
Jain lost his patience and his respectful air, – ' Listen Chief. I'm an important official. So just release me . Now. '
Soude countered, – ' We're an Isolationist Colony Mr Jain. Ignored by the known galaxies and the unknown galaxies. Besides where would you go? How would you get there? ' He smiled, – ' Our technology is limited; Certainly no ships. '
– ' Oh yes? I see plenty of ship parts. '
Soude sighed, – ' Settlers who came seeking our colony. . . they dismantled their ships once they arrived . . . '
Jain pointed to an engine sprouting reddy fungi, – ' Isn't that from a Talvarian jet? I can't imagine the Talvarian Navy has many pacifist settlers in their ranks . . . '
Soude shrugged, – ' We also salvage off-world ships unfortunate enough to crashland here. . . '
– ' What about survivors? ' Tio asked quietly.
– ' If there are any . . . they're made welcome to join us . . . '
– ' What if they don't want to stay? ' Tio pressed.
Bergsta Soude became solemn, – ' It's not a good idea to leave. There are several Isolationist Colonies scattered over this planet. Some are like us . . . peaceful, . . . others are not so peaceful. They'll kill strangers like you on sight with no questions asked. '
Tio grinned, – ' They sound like friends of yours, Jain . . . '
– ' I'm banking on it! ' Jain retorted.
Soude added carefully, – ' I suspect one of these colonies may have captured your ship . . . '
– ' How do you know about my ship? ' Jain's suspicions rose.
The stubbly man who'd been quietly listening, curtly answered, – ' Because it nearly burned us as it flew past! '
Jain sneered, – ' Too bad it wasn't close enough. ' He contemplated Soude, – ' Thanks for the info, ' he raised his bound hands expectantly, – ' But really, I've got to get my ship back . . . '
The Elder shook his head, – ' Difficult . . . difficult. We're unsure where these colonies are located. They could be weeks or months away . . . '
– ' Tio and his friends can stay, ' Jain tensed, – ' But Hakkris and I are leaving. '
– ' Nobody's leaving, ' the stubbly man finalized.
Soude was apologetic, – ' I'm afraid Elder Macon is right. We can't risk anyone being captured by our enemies and possibly lead them back here. We have families to protect. Anonymity and secrecy are our best defense. '
– ' You never told us what happened to the people who didn't want to stay here. . . ' Tio interjected.
– ' Oh, ' Bergsta Soude paused, – ' They got shot trying to escape. ' he clapped his hands jovially,
– '
You must be exhausted! How about something to eat? '

TO BE CONTINUED....

Page 8 Winner: R.D. Baker from Manitoba, CANADA
Deadline for Page 9: 23rd May 2005

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